Monthly Archives: March 2014

Super extra double nerd time


It’s funny how you can start to lose track of things when life gets hectic.  Between work, family visiting and taking care of boy wonder, it can be tough just to get the basic day to day stuff taken care of.  Stuff like, dishes, laundry…bathing.  That means that other funner stuff gets pushed way off the grid.  Some people like to go out drinking, watch the game, or watch paint dry.  My closest friends are big fricking nerds and our favorite activities…well I mean they still include drinking but we usually do it at home.

This weekend was a prime example:

  • Friday night – Netflix, BS with a buddy, Borderlands 2 on the 360 until an obscene hour of the morning
Exhibit B for borderlands.
Exhibit A…er B for borderlands.
  • Saturday  – Sleep in like a useless asshole while your wife takes care of the kid and house, Netflix, Home made pizzas, drinks, about 40 rounds of Cards Against Humanity, Diablo III on the PS3 until an obscene hour of the morning
This would have been the tamest hand we played all night.
This would have been the tamest hand we played all night.
  • Sunday – Sleep in like a useless asshole again while your wife takes care of the kid, more Netflix and then a discussion with the wife about maybe not staying up all night two weekend nights in a row playing video games with my knucklehead friends.
Who wouldn't want to slay demons all night?
Who wouldn’t want to slay demons all night?

I might have been more resistant to that discussion if it weren’t for the fact that I’d said almost the same thing to my buddies before I kicked them out of the house at 6am Sunday morning.  Sometimes it’s important to understand that there is such a thing as TOO much nerding out.

Now if only my kid could hold a controller…

Nights like this…


Crap.  Didn’t I have something I wanted to post about? I mean, I can’t think of a single thing that I wanted to talk about.  I’ll site the usual complaints about sleep deprivation, being caught up with the kid, trying to squeeze in a workout, staring off into space…pretty standard stuff.

I’ve been trying to eat a lot more vegetables lately; making sure they’re on hand as snacks. It’s partially an effort to head off grabbing the most god awful food substance we have on hand.   My wife made a quinoa casserole earlier this week and that has been making a lot more of our meals vegetarian.  It also doubled as a side-dish in some of our other meals.  I think I mentioned that I was working on portion control which has certainly been a focus recently.   I’m starting to get better at it but I’m often too hungry at dinner and end up eating portions that are twice the size that I need.  Dinner is definitely my weakness.  I mean, dinner is my weakness on days when I don’t totally hose up lunch.

St. Pat’s Blogover

St. Pat’s has got me in slow motion.  I’m sure all the beer and whiskey I drank and all of the food I ate really put me ahead of the curve on my fitness journey.

Yeah, THAT much food.
Yeah, THAT much food.  Seriously I thought it was a good idea to order all of that for myself.

Maybe if you consider all of the time I spent the next day shitting my brains out due to an over exuberant consumption of ghost chili seasoned hot wings and then the follow up mistake of blazing hot leftovers for lunch, you could argue that I probably broke even weight wise.  Is there such a thing as “crying like a man” while on the toilet?  Well, is there!?


BangBangBang – Motivation or Exercise?

Somebody once asked me how I managed to maintain my motivation.  At the time it seemed that they were somehow impressed with my tenacity and I didn’t really have a response.  Now I believe I’d be likely to respond with, “not very well.”

To be fair, pretty much all of our activities are governed by some sort of motivation so let’s narrow this discussion to things that motivate me to exercise or at least partake in healthier lifestyle choices.

Today’s topic is:


That’s right, sex.  Sex is a motivation for lots of activities but in this particular case it is a motivating factor in my wellness program.  Improved stamina and physical strength can be helpful assets in the bedroom especially if you tend to get a little more Tarzan and Jane than Bert and Ernie.  Improved diet and exercise routines will improve your physical appearance which not only makes you more attractive to your mate but also helps with your own self esteem.  I mean, what’s going to stop you from making sweet sweet love if you and your mate know you’re a sexual tyrannosaurus?

On the flip side, frequent sexual activity is good for your health.  It is unlikely that you’ll be able to quit your gym time cold turkey but vigorous sex DOES burn calories.   Sufficient rambunctiousness in the bedroom not only burns calories but also helps stretch muscles, increase metabolic rate, reduce stress, and boost immune response.  So in this case one of the things that motivates me to exercise is actually another form of exercise.

Maybe we’ll discuss more of my motivations next time but we talked about this one first because, well, it’s certainly one of my favorites. Roar.

Going to bed hungry.


I don’t fee like I’ve made a lot of great health choices in the last couple weeks.  I’ve skipped a lot of workouts because I got busy or tired or I had a stomach ache.  I might have thought this problem with my back was stopping me but I don’t seem to give a rip about it other than when it stops me dead in my tracks.

My diet is reasonable most of the time, except during meals or days where I totally fuck it up.  It’s not like I sit around eating potato chips or even eat dessert every day.  A lot of my snacks are fruits and vegetables but I still don’t lose any weight.  I think I need to start addressing another issue that I have great difficulty with and that is everyone’s arch-nemesis; portion control.  Maybe I can get some kind of feeder bar installed in my kitchen and it can only be activated by some complicated series of tricks or a couple of laps on the treadmill.

The way I tried to address it today was to eat something every time I got hungry.  Actually that’s normally how I address it during the day.  I eat some fruits and protein in the morning, fruit mid-morning, lunch (which is a crap shoot…see previous posts) and a mid-afternoon snack (usually Greek yogurt or some nuts) before I head home so I’m not starving when I walk through the door.  I know that if I’m weak coming into the house I’m probably going to make some bad decisions.

The difference tonight was making a sandwich as soon as I got home.  I was very hungry and normally I would have tried to come up with something for dinner (my wife gets home late) and in the past I might have tried to wait until my wife got home from work.  The sandwich held me for about three hours but then I started to really get hungry.  I really couldn’t stop thinking about food the last couple hours but I managed to distract myself with other activities.  So maybe that’s another piece of the puzzle.  Yep, good old fashioned distraction or maybe just going to bed earlier.

In any case, I am tired of hearing my stomach growling so I AM going to bed now.

Dieting…D is for Disaster

Ok, quick post tonight as I should be in bed and the wife just reminded me that I have to take the trash and recyclables out.  This wouldn’t be a big deal if I’d cleared my driveway anytime in the last two weeks but currently getting the two massive bins to the street requires me hooking up an entire Iditarod dog sled team just so that I can get back to the house by morning.

Last time we were talking about working on making less bad choices instead of making great choices.  This isn’t exactly the kind of Michael Douglas from Wall Street, rah-rah talk you hear from most fitness “gurus” but since we aren’t olympic champions or even remotely capable of self control, we set our sites a little less stratospherically.

One of the conversations that I’ve had with myself was about eliminating eating out…at restaurants…just making sure you’re still paying attention.  I just realized I typed “eliminating” when I should have typed “reducing”.  If I want a god damned Kopps cheeseburger I will have one.  Ahem…anyway, most people operate on a three meal a day kind of cycle.  This is basically what I do with snacks thrown in to try to prevent overeating at my main meals.  Breakfast is rarely an issue but every now and then I hit the drive-thru on the way to work; no big deal.  Dinner as of late hasn’t been too bad either.  My wife and I don’t mind cooking too much and we don’t tend to make a lot of really terrible food stuffs since we would have to physically throw the malevolent ingredients into the pot or pan ourselves and generally we have enough self preservation instinct to stop lard from becoming a food group.

Lunch.  Lunch is my Achilles’ heel.  I just can’t wait to get out of the office and eat something ruinous.  My lunch cycle used to look something like this:

Monday – Chinese buffet

Tuesday – Pizza place

Wednesday – Indian buffet

Thursday – Somewhere different but still awful

Friday – Chinese buffet (Double Dragon bookends baby!)

Now, not only is this obviously a great way to torpedo any attempt at weight loss/fitness/diet/training but it’s not a cheap way to get through the week.

I figured that I needed to find a way to entice myself to make the right choices and simply arguing that bringing my lunch would be cheaper and healthier wasn’t sufficient.  What I did determine though was that I could basically make myself ANYTHING I wanted for lunch and it was still healthier and cheaper than what I’d been doing.  I could get a burrito and a soda at a restaurant for $10 or I could bring a 1lb Ribeye steak and a can of soda from home for the same price.  The large portion sizes served at any restaurant meant that no matter what I brought from home, the restaurant option was always the worse of the two choices.  You could argue a big greasy pork sandwich from home would be worse than buying a salad with no dressing but let’s be realistic, I’m not going to get a salad with no dressing…at least not at this stage.  I still eat out many days but I’ve found that by making something for lunch that I actually look forward to eating, I’m far more likely to keep myself in line.

Some days it don’t pay


As much as I tried, working out didn’t really happen today.  As a last ditch effort I found myself doing push-ups in front of the television in-between trying to do half a dozen other things.  Since a hundred push-ups isn’t going to cut me down to size I’m forced to rely on one of my other tools…my excellent diet.

That’s right, when you just can’t seem to get to the gym, or whatever your equivalent is, you get to fall back on the diet.  If you’ve got a healthy diet then it can carry you through the days that you screw up and can’t seem to get to the exercise routine.  If you have a shit diet then you are double boned.  This is one of the reasons why I’ve decided to clean up my diet.  As of this moment I’m giving up…well absolutely nothing.  I can certainly try to eat less like an asshole in general but I don’t believe in cutting things completely out of your diet. Except pickled pigs feet; just gross.

I’m not saying I’ve done a particularly good job of this ever but with the wife and I both on the fitness warpath we’re bound to make some of the right decisions.  Let’s say that at this stage of the game it’s not really about making great choices it’s more about making choices that aren’t as stupid, as frequently.  A perfect example is trying to swap out all of the magnificent terribleness of the chinese buffet for an equally delicious and vastly healthier salad at my local Rocky Rococo’s.  In fact even if I can’t resist getting a slice of pizza with my side salad I’m still in considerably better shape than the five fingers of death technique waiting for me at LoChinaBuffet.

I know the best way to go is to pack my own healthy lunch but remember what I said earlier; I’m just working on damage control at this stage.

Ante up.


Lifted, Ran 2.0 miles, stretched

I’ve never been a big fan of stretching but I’ve recently developed some chronic back pain.  I’ve less recently developed a significant lack of flexibility.  We can blame it on age or whatever but it’s really a lack of activity; a lack of effort.

So the stretching is going to be a critical component to me getting back into peak physical condition.  Maybe I shouldn’t say “back” as if I were ever in peak physical condition.  It’s more like, if I was ever going to get into peak physical condition, stretching would be important.