Somebody once asked me how I managed to maintain my motivation. At the time it seemed that they were somehow impressed with my tenacity and I didn’t really have a response. Now I believe I’d be likely to respond with, “not very well.”
To be fair, pretty much all of our activities are governed by some sort of motivation so let’s narrow this discussion to things that motivate me to exercise or at least partake in healthier lifestyle choices.
Today’s topic is:
DOIN’ IT
That’s right, sex. Sex is a motivation for lots of activities but in this particular case it is a motivating factor in my wellness program. Improved stamina and physical strength can be helpful assets in the bedroom especially if you tend to get a little more Tarzan and Jane than Bert and Ernie. Improved diet and exercise routines will improve your physical appearance which not only makes you more attractive to your mate but also helps with your own self esteem. I mean, what’s going to stop you from making sweet sweet love if you and your mate know you’re a sexual tyrannosaurus?
On the flip side, frequent sexual activity is good for your health. It is unlikely that you’ll be able to quit your gym time cold turkey but vigorous sex DOES burn calories. Sufficient rambunctiousness in the bedroom not only burns calories but also helps stretch muscles, increase metabolic rate, reduce stress, and boost immune response. So in this case one of the things that motivates me to exercise is actually another form of exercise.
Maybe we’ll discuss more of my motivations next time but we talked about this one first because, well, it’s certainly one of my favorites. Roar.
I don’t fee like I’ve made a lot of great health choices in the last couple weeks. I’ve skipped a lot of workouts because I got busy or tired or I had a stomach ache. I might have thought this problem with my back was stopping me but I don’t seem to give a rip about it other than when it stops me dead in my tracks.
My diet is reasonable most of the time, except during meals or days where I totally fuck it up. It’s not like I sit around eating potato chips or even eat dessert every day. A lot of my snacks are fruits and vegetables but I still don’t lose any weight. I think I need to start addressing another issue that I have great difficulty with and that is everyone’s arch-nemesis; portion control. Maybe I can get some kind of feeder bar installed in my kitchen and it can only be activated by some complicated series of tricks or a couple of laps on the treadmill.
The way I tried to address it today was to eat something every time I got hungry. Actually that’s normally how I address it during the day. I eat some fruits and protein in the morning, fruit mid-morning, lunch (which is a crap shoot…see previous posts) and a mid-afternoon snack (usually Greek yogurt or some nuts) before I head home so I’m not starving when I walk through the door. I know that if I’m weak coming into the house I’m probably going to make some bad decisions.
The difference tonight was making a sandwich as soon as I got home. I was very hungry and normally I would have tried to come up with something for dinner (my wife gets home late) and in the past I might have tried to wait until my wife got home from work. The sandwich held me for about three hours but then I started to really get hungry. I really couldn’t stop thinking about food the last couple hours but I managed to distract myself with other activities. So maybe that’s another piece of the puzzle. Yep, good old fashioned distraction or maybe just going to bed earlier.
In any case, I am tired of hearing my stomach growling so I AM going to bed now.
Ok, quick post tonight as I should be in bed and the wife just reminded me that I have to take the trash and recyclables out. This wouldn’t be a big deal if I’d cleared my driveway anytime in the last two weeks but currently getting the two massive bins to the street requires me hooking up an entire Iditarod dog sled team just so that I can get back to the house by morning.
Last time we were talking about working on making less bad choices instead of making great choices. This isn’t exactly the kind of Michael Douglas from Wall Street, rah-rah talk you hear from most fitness “gurus” but since we aren’t olympic champions or even remotely capable of self control, we set our sites a little less stratospherically.
One of the conversations that I’ve had with myself was about eliminating eating out…at restaurants…just making sure you’re still paying attention. I just realized I typed “eliminating” when I should have typed “reducing”. If I want a god damned Kopps cheeseburger I will have one. Ahem…anyway, most people operate on a three meal a day kind of cycle. This is basically what I do with snacks thrown in to try to prevent overeating at my main meals. Breakfast is rarely an issue but every now and then I hit the drive-thru on the way to work; no big deal. Dinner as of late hasn’t been too bad either. My wife and I don’t mind cooking too much and we don’t tend to make a lot of really terrible food stuffs since we would have to physically throw the malevolent ingredients into the pot or pan ourselves and generally we have enough self preservation instinct to stop lard from becoming a food group.
Lunch. Lunch is my Achilles’ heel. I just can’t wait to get out of the office and eat something ruinous. My lunch cycle used to look something like this:
Monday – Chinese buffet
Tuesday – Pizza place
Wednesday – Indian buffet
Thursday – Somewhere different but still awful
Friday – Chinese buffet (Double Dragon bookends baby!)
Now, not only is this obviously a great way to torpedo any attempt at weight loss/fitness/diet/training but it’s not a cheap way to get through the week.
I figured that I needed to find a way to entice myself to make the right choices and simply arguing that bringing my lunch would be cheaper and healthier wasn’t sufficient. What I did determine though was that I could basically make myself ANYTHING I wanted for lunch and it was still healthier and cheaper than what I’d been doing. I could get a burrito and a soda at a restaurant for $10 or I could bring a 1lb Ribeye steak and a can of soda from home for the same price. The large portion sizes served at any restaurant meant that no matter what I brought from home, the restaurant option was always the worse of the two choices. You could argue a big greasy pork sandwich from home would be worse than buying a salad with no dressing but let’s be realistic, I’m not going to get a salad with no dressing…at least not at this stage. I still eat out many days but I’ve found that by making something for lunch that I actually look forward to eating, I’m far more likely to keep myself in line.
As much as I tried, working out didn’t really happen today. As a last ditch effort I found myself doing push-ups in front of the television in-between trying to do half a dozen other things. Since a hundred push-ups isn’t going to cut me down to size I’m forced to rely on one of my other tools…my excellent diet.
That’s right, when you just can’t seem to get to the gym, or whatever your equivalent is, you get to fall back on the diet. If you’ve got a healthy diet then it can carry you through the days that you screw up and can’t seem to get to the exercise routine. If you have a shit diet then you are double boned. This is one of the reasons why I’ve decided to clean up my diet. As of this moment I’m giving up…well absolutely nothing. I can certainly try to eat less like an asshole in general but I don’t believe in cutting things completely out of your diet. Except pickled pigs feet; just gross.
I’m not saying I’ve done a particularly good job of this ever but with the wife and I both on the fitness warpath we’re bound to make some of the right decisions. Let’s say that at this stage of the game it’s not really about making great choices it’s more about making choices that aren’t as stupid, as frequently. A perfect example is trying to swap out all of the magnificent terribleness of the chinese buffet for an equally delicious and vastly healthier salad at my local Rocky Rococo’s. In fact even if I can’t resist getting a slice of pizza with my side salad I’m still in considerably better shape than the five fingers of death technique waiting for me at LoChinaBuffet.
I know the best way to go is to pack my own healthy lunch but remember what I said earlier; I’m just working on damage control at this stage.
I’ve never been a big fan of stretching but I’ve recently developed some chronic back pain. I’ve less recently developed a significant lack of flexibility. We can blame it on age or whatever but it’s really a lack of activity; a lack of effort.
So the stretching is going to be a critical component to me getting back into peak physical condition. Maybe I shouldn’t say “back” as if I were ever in peak physical condition. It’s more like, if I was ever going to get into peak physical condition, stretching would be important.
…but I did work out on my Bowflex and run on my treadmill.
The usage rate on the home gym hasn’t been exactly flawless. I’m not down there every day lifting for two hours and running 10 miles.
That example seems kind of ridiculous since I’m not even down there lifting for 20 minutes and running 1 mile every day. I’m not on a schedule, I’m not “kicking ass” but I am making steps in the right direction. Tonight I lifted for about 45 minutes and ran 1.5 miles. That isn’t a significant amount of work but there’s a reason that it IS significant.
It’s 45 minutes more lifting and 1.5 miles more running than I would have done if I didn’t have my own gym and I’m pretty happy about that.
I’m keeping it brief tonight since I got a late start and I need my recovery rest…and I have to work early…and a snuggle terrorist is making snuggle demands.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon… what’ve you got left? Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too. Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead. Janine Melnitz: Oh, that’s very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m too intellectual but I think it’s a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play raquetball. Do you have any hobbies? Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Oh good, you’re here! Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, what have you got? Dr. Egon Spengler: This is big, Peter, this is very big. There is definitely something here. Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that? Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me
Dr. Egon Spengler: I’m worried, Ray. It’s getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon. Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big? Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Ray: You mean you never even had a Slinky? Egon: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.
Ray: You think there’s a connection between this Vigo character and the… slime? Egon: Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
Egon: Let’s see what happens when we take away the puppy.
Harold Ramis plays Russell Ziskey in case you don’t remember. 🙂
John Winger: C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ’em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin. Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!
Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals? John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or… Recruiter: Well, it’s a standard question we have to ask. Russell Ziskey: No, we’re not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*. John Winger: Yeah, would they send us someplace special? Recruiter: I guess that’s “no” on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph…
Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing. John Winger: Convicted? No. Russell Ziskey: Never convicted.
That’s all I have time for. It’s not much for a man that had a significant impact on me and my sense of humor. I’m sad we’ve lost him but glad we got to know him as well as we did. I hope you’re somewhere in the great beyond crossing the streams, Mr. Ramis.
Feel free to add your favorite quotes from any of his films whether it was spoken by Harold Ramis or not. 🙂
This is what the space in my basement was being used for previously.
Um…basement.
Actually, that’s probably not an entirely fair representation of this space. It had been cleaned up for a holiday party and it would normally look a lot more hellish. It would look a lot more useless too as the pool table is normally in the middle of the floor. It didn’t get used for anything more than holding food, junk or dust.
Once the pool table, air hockey table and foos ball table were removed, there was room to do something a little more interesting.
Add Treadmill, Bowflex and bike trainer.
So now we have a few options for exercise equipment but if that just isn’t enough…
Wait…is a rock band drum exercise equipment?
See, now there’s a TV so we can watch whatever we want. It’s almost like it isn’t even work, right? If we just can’t get enough cardio, the Kinect should provide more opportunities via programs like Nike Kinect or some weird kung fu game demo somebody downloaded.
