You better lube up 2014!!!

That’s right everybody, 2013 is over and it has been a hell of a year.  I’m going to make sure that no matter how much 2014 bucks and screams it’s going to stay firmly planted over the saw horse.

We'll probably need one of these...
We’ll probably need one of these…


...and one of these...
…and one of these…


...might as well bring one of these too.
…might as well bring one of these too.

Well…maybe that’s just a bunch of crazy talk but I think you know better.


We might as well look back at 2013:

Okay, not too detailed a look.  I don’t want you falling asleep reading this as badly as I am writing it.

  • My wife and I had a kid.  This happened in June but I don’t think I did anything really worthwhile in 2013 prior to that.  I could pretty much skip the whole rest of this post if I had to because this is by far the main event.  I’ll sum up: I drove us to the hospital, I watched an epidural being inserted, I ran a vomit brigade, I cut the cord,  I cried in amazement, I watched stitches and cleanup.  It literally blew my mind when they left him alone with us and we didn’t have to pass some kind of written test combined with a physical challenge and a fight to death against a potential future bully’s father.
  • A bunch of friends and family got married.  Seriously people, knock it off.  We can’t make it to all of them and then we feel crappy about ourselves.  If you’re going to go and fall in love just elope somewhere so nobody can be included and we non-attendees fall into the majority.
  • “We” started running/trying to get into shape.  That’s right, the “Twofatlosers” started running shortly after my kid was born.  I think the idea of being able to keep up with my kid as he grows up helped motivate me.  Also, I was just sick of being fat and out of shape, which between my awesome diet and incredible lack of exercise was not a confusing place to find myself.  This was also where I got the idea for this blog.
  • “We” started a blog.  This was to be a blog with a significant focus on our transformation and experiences regarding diet and exercise.  Well that bull shit is hilarious because in reality we, well I, didn’t even start the blog until we had essentially stopped our regular exercise.  I think a poor performance at somebody’s first 5K and recurring shin splint issues kind of sidelined our momentum.  Whatever, these things happen.
  • I bought a new car.  You don’t need any details here, just know that it was to replace my no good, piece of crap Jeep that…well, that has actually served me well considering how much I actually paid for it and how long I’ve been driving it.  Actually it just needs a few minor repairs really.  Anybody need a Jeep?
  • I installed landscape lighting.  You don’t really care about that but it was a year in the making so it was a big deal to me.  I also thought it would be a much better way to light my property than running extension cords and flood lights all over the place every winter, still not having enough light and pulling thousands of watts a day.
  • My house got vandalized by some worthless puke(s).  This wasn’t really an accomplishment but getting egged and having some of my lawn ornaments destroyed was a first so I put it on the list.  I hope that whoever was involved grows up to be relatively successful so that some worthless jerk can ruin a lot of hard work they put into building a nice holiday display or vandalizes their house so that they have to nervously keep watch the next few nights.  It’s not like I was dreaming of chasing them down the driveway with a baseball bat, sword, or my bare hands.


I think that’s the 2013 highlight reel.  Oh sure, I glossed over a lot of great times with friends, family etc.  but who wants to really hear about those good things.  Maybe I’ll pepper some of that in over the next few weeks but just in case I don’t, know that if you were involved I cherished those activities and wish I could have a transcript of most of what took place.

In any case, it’s time to get serious with 2014 and I’ll let you know what the plan is soon.  Until I figure that out, these will have to serve as my primary course indicators.

ttsLQRsex-meaningless-flirting-2014-new-years-ecards-someecards lJOtm3antidepressants-2014-optimism-new-years-ecards-someecards





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