Going to the dentist like I’m cramming for a final.

“Oh god…that’s what I figured. I’ll be right back with ma’ dynamite!”

I could only dodge this bullet for so long.  It’s time, once again to go to the dentist.  Yes, it’s that happy time we schedule twice a year to let us know that while we may be adults, we are incapable of taking care of our teeth properly.

I’ve know it was coming for a while but I didn’t really worry about it until a week before hand.  I gradually started preparing but the last few days, there has been some intensive activity and some late nights.  That’s right, I’m cramming for the dental exam.

The old Chinese guy assured me that this would do the trick!
The old Chinese guy assured me that this would do the trick!

I knew brushing wasn’t enough but…but…flossing SUCKS!  That wasn’t going to be a good enough explanation for the hygienist so it was time to hit the floss hard.  Twice a day, extra detail work, longer brush times, more mouthwash, less coffee…ok not less coffee.  Finally I’m down to the wire, exam in less than twelve hours.  I’d probably perform better with some sleep but instead I went with a brush-floss-water pic-2nd round of water pic-water-mouthwash routine.  My teeth feel like they’re about to fall out of my head which I will take as an indication of success.  I’m sure when I wake up in the morning I’ll have to peel my pillow off of my face like some sort of massive gauze pad.  Do they make Neosporin for gums?

The dentist is sure to be impressed with my extra-cleaned teeth but may be a little dismayed that it looks like I’ve been going at my gums with 60 grit sand paper.  Hey, something has to give.

"By jove old chap!  I'd say he got them clean all right!"
“By jove old chap! I’d say he got them clean all right!”


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