I can only imagine what all of the people thought at the local Sam’s Club as my sister and I were walking out the door. It seemed that everyone was staring at us. As one gentleman put it, “I like rice…I keep some at home.” That wasn’t creepy.
I imagined announcing to the crowd, “Hey, we LOVE rice but we HATE having to get up to go to the bathroom.”
I was shopping for my team for a food drive and the whole point was to find the biggest bang for our buck, weight wise. I thought I was clever bringing my own scale since that had seemed to be useful at the regular grocery store. My wife had another name for it; “weird.”
The best deal I’d found so far was Aldi’s canned carrots on sale at about 47 cents a pound but now I was going to take this to the holy grail of discount stores. I was going to Sam’s Club and I was dragging my sister with me…because she has a permanently borrowed membership card.
We almost didn’t make it into Sam’s Club with the scale because of the check-in lady. She wanted to know if it was a return and I made sure to keep walking as I answered her so that I was too far away for her to keep questioning me. I don’t know if scales are against store policy but I didn’t have the time to deal with her either way.
The scale turned out to be useless. It worked at the grocery store because I was putting cans of food that were 1-3lbs each on the scale. At Sam’s club most of the stuff was in 8lb containers. Turns out that wasn’t a big deal, pretty much everything has a weight on it at Sam’s Club.
We quickly determined it wasn’t anything highly processed, drinkable or fancily packaged. We were running out of options and out of time. I needed to be down to almost 30 cents/lb to have a prayer of my team winning the competition. Finally it became obvious that we’d have to settle for a shot at second. It wasn’t canned vegetables at 40 cents/lb, it wasn’t canned beans at 38 cents/lb, it was totally massive bags of rice at 35 cents/lb. As we left with our prize in tow the real reward was the twisted visages of our onlookers. I’m sure they were thinking, “What the hell is all that rice and a bag of diapers for?”
Sometimes, you just need diapers.