A short story

  • I weighed in at 240 this morning.
  • I ate no more than what I needed all day and had tea or water instead of coffee.
  • Then I went and ate like a total douchenozzle at a mexican restaurant for Cinco de Mayo (really just an excuse to be a douchenozzle).

 

To celebrate my rampant stupidity and total lack of dietary control I have replaced my garage door with this totally bitchin’ one designed by  a fat loser.

I just need to cover the floor with shag carpeting and a polar bear rug.
I just need to cover the living room floor with shag carpeting and a polar bear rug.

Goodnight Milwaukee!

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